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Today's jokes [6.9.12]

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Why do blondes use so much shampoo? 

     The instructions read: LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT 

1. 




Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies 
realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth 
control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her 
prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked. 
"I've got people waiting in my car!" 



2. 




Did you hear the one about the guy who had five penises ?
He had a pair of underpants that fitted him like a glove.....

3. 




The 70-year old groom and the 25-year old bride attracted raised eyebrow
attention as they checked into the resort hotel. Next morning at eight
sharp, the groom came into the dining room whistling a gay tune, sat down
at a table and ordered ham and eggs. The smile on his face and the twinkle
in his eye told everybody present that he was happy and confident. 
Fifteen minutes later the young bride slowly trudged into the dining room
and seated herself across from her 70-year old. Her face was drawn and her
voice weak as she ordered toast and coffee. 
The groom, now finished, excused himself and strolled into the lobby for
his morning cigar. 
As the waitress approached with the bride's toast and coffee, she said,
"Honey, I don't understand it. Here you are a young bride with an old
husband, looking like you've encountered a buzz saw." 
"That guy," said the bride, "double crossed me. He told me he saved up for
60 years and I thought he was talking about money!"

4. 




Chanowski & his other Polak drinking buddy are sitting at a bar . " See 
those guys over there ? " Chanowski says." I'm going over there and ask 
them what they think of Polaks." Chanowki walks up to the two guys sitting 
at the other end of the bar and asks them what they think of Polaks. One 
of the men gives Chanowski the finger. The middle finger. Chanowski then 
walks back to his drinking buddy. " Well , what do they think of Polaks?" 
he asks. "We're still number one , " replies Chanowski.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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