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Today's jokes [6.8.12]

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Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a
condom about to give his wife some. 
Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says,
"Whatcha doin' Daddy?" 
Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the
floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says. 
Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?" 




1. 




A bloke came home and found his missus in bed with three blokes.
"Hello, hello, hello!" he screamed at them.
"Aren't you talking to me?" his missus snapped.

2. 




   In little Johnny's class at school, there's this kid with no arms or
   legs called Philip. One day after school, Johnny goes round his house
   and knocks on the door.
   
   Philip's mother answers the door, and says, "Yes Johnny, what can I do
   for you?"
   
   "Can Philip come out? - we're all skipping in the park"
   
   Philip's mum says, "But Johnny, you know he's got no arms or legs."
   
   "Yeah, I know," says little Johnny, "I just want to see his stumps
   bleed."
   


3. 




Q.      Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A.      It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.




4. 




What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track? 

    The Indy 500. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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