Today's jokes [6.7.12]
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Software Development Process
1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team
2) Announce availability
3) Write the code
4) Write the manual
5) Hire a Product Manager
6) Spec the software
(writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the
software meets the specifications)
(the customers are a big help here)
9) Identify bugs as potential enhancements
10) Announce the upgrade program
Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the
habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", the pal asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
Liz Taylor goes in to see her cosmetic surgeon. "I have met the man of
my dreams, finally, the love of my life !" she announces to the
surgeon, "But I need you to help me with a small problem. This man is
only 18 years old, I am truly head over heels in love with him, and
don't want to disappoint him in any way, so I want you to make my
vagina look like that of an 18 year old."
The surgeon tells Liz of the delicate situations involved with this
operation, but does finally agree to performing the said operation.
"But one thing" Liz says "you have to swear to me that no one knows
about this operation, that no magazines or tabloids hear about it!"
"I swear Liz" the surgeon replies.
The big day arrives, Liz goes under the knife, the operation goes text
book perfect and she is moved to a recovery room. Upon regaining
consciousness, Liz's eyes focus on three huge floral arrangements at
the foot of her bed. As the surgeon enters the room to check on her,
Liz bursts into tears.
"How could you do this to me !!! You swore that not a soul would hear
of this operation!!! "
"Now, now Liz, I didn't tell a soul. The first arrangement is from me.
I've been your friend, as much as your surgeon for the past 10 years,
I just wanted to make you feel good. The second arrangement is from
the anesthesiologist, he's gay, he's one of your biggest fans, and I
thought it was okay, since he's worked side by side with me on your
Liz's eyes gazed over to the third arrangement, pointing her finger
,"And who sent those?"
"Oh yeah" the surgeon replied. "Those are from a guy in the burns
unit, he wanted to thank you for his new ears".
If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and
Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one
Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that
harass is one word.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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