Today's jokes [6.5.12]
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"Say, how old are you anyway ?" the reporter asked as the
obviously young lass was disrobing.
"Thirteen." she replied with a shy smile.
"Thirteen ??? My God girl !!! You get those clothes back on at
once and get the hell outta here ! Are you crazy ?" he thundered.
Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the perplexed nymphet
smiled and said, "Superstitious, huh ?"
The Naming of Jesus
A group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth
was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ. One of the scholars argued that
the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the
name Joshua. Another argued that Joshua was Hebrew, not Aramaic, to which a third argued that
Hebrew should be used because Jesus was said to be the King of the Jews. The debate went on
and on and became more and more sophisticated and obtuse. Finally, an old man known for his
wisdom intervened. He informed the group that he knew how Jesus was named. When Jesus was born,
a star shown in the sky, and three wise men from the East travelled to Bethlehem. They had
travelled for days, suffered great deprivation, and when they finally got to Bethlehem got
lost trying to find the manger. Finally, after much ado, and in rather foul moods, they
reached the manger and entered the stall. As one of them came through the door, he tripped on
the door sill, and fell into the wall hitting his head. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed, and
that is how the baby was named.
Bob, an experienced sky diver, was getting ready for a jump one day
when he spotted another man outfitted to dive wearing dark glasses,
carrying a white cane and holding a seeing-eye dog by a leash. Shocked
that the blind man was also going to jump, Bob struck up a
conversation, expressing his admiration for the man's courage. Then,
curious, he asked, "How do you know when the ground is getting close?"
"Easy," replied the blind man. "The leash goes slack."
An English taxidermist is sweating his way through the Australian
outback when he comes across a bar. He staggers in between the beer
swilling locals and in his well educated voice asks the bartender,
"May I have a gin and tonic, please, my good man."
One of the locals says to his mates, "Geez, cobbers, what kind of a
fucking man's drink is that?"
Then, turning to the Englishman, "Hey! You! Yes you, you fucking Pom!
Gin and fucking tonic -- are you some fucking kind of a poofter or
"Ac...actually," the englishman, terrified, replies, "I'm a
"Oh yeah? And what's a taxidermist then?"
"I mount d..d..dead animals."
"It's alright, cobbers," says the local, turning to his mates, "He's
one of us!"
What does it mean when the flag at the
Post Office is flying at half mast?
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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