Today's jokes [6.20.12]
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Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was
becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing
doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"
Why don't Mexicans teach driver's Ed. and Sex Education on the same day?
Because they don't want to wear out the donkey.
The Y-Zero-K Problem
Translated from a recently discovered Latin scroll dated 2BC
Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change
from BC to AD is giving us many headaches; there is not much
time left. I don't know how citizens will cope with working the
wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards
forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think
that someone would have thought of this earlier and not left it to
us to sort it out at the last minute.
I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius
hadn't done something about it when he was working out the
calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We
called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing
downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a
fortune for doing nothing useful. Surely, we will not have to
throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will
make yet another fortune out of this, I suppose.
The money lenders are paranoid of course! They have been
told that all usury rates will invert, and they will have to pay
their clients to take out loans. It is an ill wind... .
As for myself, I just cannot see how the sand in an hourglass
will flow upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men
in the East who have been working on the problem, but
unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over.
I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at
midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will
stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to
chariots and possible loss of life. Some say the world will
cease to exist at the moment of transition.
Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this acursed Y zero
K problem. I will send you a parchment if anything further
If you have any ideas please let me know,
Sent by Marina
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
On their wedding night the husband was so self - conscious
about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he
snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his
pants and handed his member to his bride.
"That's thoughtful, darling," she cooed, "but we'll need the light
if you want to write thank-you notes ."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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