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Today's jokes [6.1.12]

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What do you do after you just raped a 12yr old deaf & dumb girl ?

Break her fingers so she can't tell her mum.

1. 




   A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for
   company. There's
   plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing
   alright--but after a few
   months he gets "lonely", if you know what I mean. The pig starts to
   look more and more
   attractive--soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this
   poor guy makes an
   advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost
   bit his leg. One day
   the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it
   turns out to be a dinghy,
   cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman,
   unconscious. He drags her
   to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back to
   health. Finally she is
   well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for
   saving my life. I don't
   know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything,
   just name it." The guy
   thinks for a minute and says "Would you mind taking my dog for a
   walk?"
   


2. 




What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

3. 




Save the Yeasts



                      EVERY TIME A LOAF OF BREAD
                              IS BAKED,
                            APPROXIMATELY
                        150,000,000 YEASTS ARE
                                KILLED.

                 Come to the award-winning 1987 film,
                  "The Very Small and Quiet Screams"
        -- a cinematic electromicrograph of yeasts being baked.

"A must for those who care about yeast, and especially for those who don't."

                +------------------------------------+
                | Evening showing in Johnson & Wales |
                |    Pirsig Auditorium: 7PM, 4/19    |
                +------------------------------------+
============================================================================
                             SPONSORED BY
                Brown Anaerobe Rights Coalition (BARC)
               Student Bakers for Social Responsibility
              Coalition for the ELevation of Life (CELL)
                   Campus Crusade for Fetal Matters
============================================================================
   Defend all life: 'from greatest to least, from human to yeast!"



            This poster printed on 100% yeast-free paper.



4. 




Q. What's better than roses on your piano ?
A. Two lips on your organ ...


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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