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Today's stories [5.26.12]

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After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally 
land. They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked 
for items left behind. 

In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with 
a note saying "Much love, Mom." Quickly, I gave the bag to our 
gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. 

In few minutes, this announcement came over the public-
address system in the concourse:  "Would the passenger who 
lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?"

1. 




Ladies Night Out.

So ... the other day, three friends and I went to this 
"Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us, 
so she pulls out a $10 bill.  The "dancer" came over to us, 
and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
         
Not to be outdone, my second friend pulls out a $20 bill.  
She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it 
on his other butt cheek.
         
Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my third friend 
pulls out a $50 bill.  She calls the guy back over again, 
licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt 
cheeks.
        
Now the attention is focused on me.  What could I do to top 
that?  I got out my wallet, thought for a minute ... and 
then the financial analyst in me took over.
        
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, 
grabbed the $80 bucks and went home.



Sent by Neicey

2. 




Back in the old days my Uncle Bucky bought a new
Model A Ford.The next morning he was on his way
to work and crashed into a car pulling out from
a sidestreet. Being the witty person that he is,
he wrote a letter to the Ford Motor Company..
"I blew my horn, it did no good; and now i have a
busted hood". Two days later a delivery truck
arrived at his residence with a brand new hood.

Sent by Cliff

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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