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Today's stories [5.11.12]

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Brian received a phone call:
  "HI, I'm phoning on behalf of the ????? Children's Workshop 
where we can help you with special offers, ....etc"
  I interrupted her and informed her that I didn't have any 
children.
  "Do you have any grandchildren???", she then asked.

1. 




My wife used to have the habit of disbelieving something with 
the phrase "my ass!"  She would say "Four hundred dollars, 
my ass!" or "30 minutes late, my ass!"  One day a friend of 
mine and I were having a conversation, which she was listening 
to, and I said something like "...so it would be easy to 
penetrate.."  She chimed in... "Penetrate my ass!"  My friend 
and I laughed so long and hard we forgot what we were even 
talking about!  Needless to say, she doesn't say "my ass!" any 
more.

2. 




Taking a medical history is an experience: The MD, taking a 
sex-behavior history asked: "How many orgasms did you have 
last week?"  The answer: "Counting masturbatory ones and 
wet dreams?"

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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