Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [5.18.12]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


"... he repeats until he fails, half a goon and half a god, a man's not made
 of steel..."
                        -- Devo, "Gates of Steel"


1. 




Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
One is to let her think she is having her own way, and
the other is to let her have it. 

     - Lyndon B. Johnson 

2. 




"Paper can KILL if it's thrown hard enough, sometimes."
                        -- James "Kibo" Parry


3. 




* Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
       think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
         1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
         2. Advising the President.
         3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
       --David Letterman


4. 




"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed
   as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as
   quickly promoted as a male schlemiel."
   --- Bella Abzug


5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 May '12 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.