Today's jokes [5.7.12]
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Berkowitz is having a drink at his hotel when he spots a beautiful young
woman at the other end of the bar. "Bartender," he says, "give that lady
whatever she likes, and put it on my tab."
When the drink is delivered, the woman gives Berkowitz a warm smile. A
moment later he's at her side. "That was very kind of you," she says.
"Won't you sit down?"
After a few minutes of small talk, she says, "Let me be honest with you.
You're a very nice man, but I don't think you realize that I'm a
professional. I'd be delighted to go upstairs with you for a hundred
dollars. If that's not what you had in mind, I certainly understand, and
I'll say good-bye now, no hard feelings."
"I'm surprised," says Berkowitz. "But you're a beautiful lady, and I like
you, too. I've never done something like this before, but sure, let's go
When they get to Berkowitz's room, he says, "I was wondering. There's
something about you that makes me think you might be Jewish."
"Well, I am," she replies a little defensively. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I'm Jewish, too," says Berkowitz. "And since we're both Jewish,
I was hoping you would give me a discount."
"Dammit," she replies, "I was afraid this would happen. Okay, twenty
percent off. But I want you to know, at these prices I'm not making any
What do people do for fun on Halloween?
Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien
Simply send 6 x 10^50 atoms of hydrogen to the star system
at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your
star system at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other
star systems. Within one-tenth of a galactic rotation you will
receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy
reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!
Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed
together for the first
time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted
and discolored. "What
happened to you feet?" his wife asked. "I had a childhood disease
called tolio." "Don't you
mean polio?" "No, tolio, it only affects the toes." He then removed
his pants and revealed
an awful looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she
asked. "Well, I also
had kneesles." "Don't you mean measles?" "No, kneesles, it only
affects the knees." When
he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me, you
also had smallcox!"
Do you know why the baby Jesus wasn't born in Iowa?
They couldn't find three wise men!!!
Sent by Spencer
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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