Today's jokes [5.3.12]
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A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who
died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged
23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
Why did clinton follow the chicken across the road? be\
cause, he couldn't get his dick out of its ass.
Sent by BL.STEVENS
One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side,
it had snowed during the night and everything was
covered in snow. He looks down and sees something
written in urine on the lawn it reads
"I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD".
Bill calls the FBI and says "Someone has written "I
hope you get impeached" in urine on my lawn. For them
to write it in the spot it's in they would have had to
be on my deck. Please help me find this criminal."
The FBI agrees and comes back a week later. "Well Mr.
Clinton we did DNA , urine and handwriting tests. Do
you want to here the bad news or the awful news first."
Bill sighs "bad I guess".
"The urine belongs to Al Gore" Bill grabs his chest "Oh!
Al, my best friend my partner, my vice president...What's
the awful news?!"
The FBI agents look at each other...
"The hand writing was Hillary's"
What's better than winning a gold medal at the Para-Olympics?
Having arms and legs.
Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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