Today's jokes [5.28.12]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
After working together for a while, Dick and Jane's office romance
blossomed, and they
really developed the hots for each other. One day,they seize the
opportunity to sneak into a
supply closet to consummate their lust. Dick finds Jane very tight,
and difficult to enter,
but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Dick says to her, "If I
had known you were a
virgin, I would have taken more time!" To which Jane replies "If I'd
known you had more
time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"
Two pedophiles were sitting on the beach.
One said to the other "Hey get out of my son!"
SAT score decay
As we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.
The following may be the reason why.
A math problem in the 60's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this
price. What is his profit?
A math problem in the 70's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of porduction is four-fifths of this
price, or $80. What is his profit?
A math problem in the 70's using New Math
A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100,
and each element is worth $1. Make 100 dots representing the elements of set M. The set C of
the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set M, and answer the following question:
What is the cardinality of the set P of profits?
A math problem in the 80's
A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is
$20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.
A math problem in the 90's under Outcome Based Education.
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of
living? (Topic for class participation: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?)
A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it
down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another
and again tips it down her skirt.
Finally, the barman says: "Why are you tipping your drinks down your
"Well," the chick replies, "I've just won the lottery and this is the only
arsehole I'm shouting!"
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his
brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd
finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter.
Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his
suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short.
There sat his lover with an infant in her lap!
"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were
pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we
could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my
condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and
decided it would be better to have a bastard in the
family than a lawyer!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31