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Today's jokes [5.26.12]

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A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started 
out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, "You can go home now."

1. 




For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was 
volatile.  Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no 
longer a Russian, but had become a Pole.   Thrilled, he told his 

wife, "Thank God !  No more of those freezing Russian 
winters."

2. 




A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre 
spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across 
another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor 
and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I have to 
warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party. The city 
slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going on. No problem he 
responded. Well, There will probably be some fighting too. I think I can 
handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and 
asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear  at the party" The 
man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!"

Sent by Chris

3. 




Friend: Vern, are you going to take your wife Alice on your next cruise?
Vern: Yes, indeed. I just can't leave her behind alone. 

4. 




What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?

Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch...

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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