Today's jokes [5.20.12]
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Good News, Bad News, Worse News
Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
You can't find your birth control pills
Your daughter borrowed them
Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man
1) Get away or I'll call the police!!!
2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.
A young man took a girl out to dinner and a show. They got along very
well, and when he asked her if she would like to come up to his apartment
for a drink she agreed. After they were at the apartment a while, he
asked if he could give her an old fashioned kiss. Her reply was "At a
time like this you want me to change positions?"
What is the meaning of life?
All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I
would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree", sighed the
pheasant, "but I haven"t got the energy".
Well, why don"t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They"re packed with nutrients".
The pheasant pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch and so
on. Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the
top of the tree, whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into
the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the pheasant right out
of the tree.
Moral of the Story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won"t keep you there.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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