Today's jokes [5.2.12]
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The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey--Nice bike!
Where did you get it?" "Well," replies the other, "I was walking to
class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this
bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'you can
have ANYTHING you want!'" "Good choice," says the first guy, "her
clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway.
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his
nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems of "Tomahawk"
missiles -- now they're called "Boomerang."
A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came
to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful
Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way
home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they
each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the
registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?"
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or
so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him".
Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an
exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just
had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was
feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon
as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of
town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he
wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday
morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint
Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and
exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton
hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short
of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN
ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why
did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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