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Today's jokes [5.18.12]

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What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?

A headbanger

1. 




Two British faggots were standing on Circular Quay looking out over the 
harbour. One of them pointed to a ferry and asked, "Elton, what's that?"

"That's a ferry-boat, George my love," answered Elton.

"Oooh!" Squealed George, "I knew there was a lot of us, but I didn't know 
we had our own navy!"

2. 




A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem 
doctor" Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this 
earsplitting yell." "MY dear," the shrink said, "that's completely 
natural. I don't see what problem is?" "The problem is," she complained, 
"It wakes me up."



3. 




One morning a little girl ran inside and said "Daddy, Daddy my sister and 
the man you hired last week are up on the hay loft in the barn on all that 
new hay we just bought. She has her dress up and he has his pants down. I 
think they are about to piss all over that new hay!"

4. 




How do you scare a man? 

     Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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