Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [5.17.12]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, 
a good lover and a stimulating partner?

A. In the pages of a romance novel. 

1. 




   This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out a
   beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?"
   
   Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to
   which the little boy responds "No."
   
   "Then you can't have one."
   
   A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I
   have on of those?"
   
   Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to
   which the little boy responds "No."
   
   "Then you can't have one."
   
   Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and
   each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says
   "I just won $50,000"
   
   Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?"
   
   The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your
   asshole?"
   
   "Yes," Says grandpa.
   
   "Then go fuck yourself"
   


2. 




Life Insurance Agent:
Don't let me frighten you into a decision. Sleep on it tonight, and if you 
wake up in the morning, let me know what you think. 


3. 




Two story house

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.
The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says,
"Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce."

"Because," the man says,"I live in a two-story house."

The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that?
What is the big deal about a two-story house?"

The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' 
and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'

4. 




A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side
by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly
and all, said: "So, where y'all from?" 
The New York girl said, "From a place where they know better
than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." 
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then
replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 May '12 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.