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Today's jokes [5.15.12]

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Job Applicant:  "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."
Employer:  "I'm sorry, we already have enough cosultants."
Applicant:   "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an 
advisor."
Employer:  "More than we can use already."
Applicant:  As he is getting desperate, "I'm not proud, I can do
paperwork, I'll be a clerk,  If you have too many, I'll start as a 
janitor."
Employer:  "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for 
a person with your qualifications."
Applicant:  As he stands up and angrily yells, "work for you I'd 
have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"
Employer:  "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a 
seat, we may have an opening."



1. 




MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward any of this to your boss by mistake!!!

2. 




How do a jewish couple have oral sex?

... "SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO 
ONE AND OTHER"

Sent by Ivan

3. 




A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see
a small boy eating an ice cream. 

The priest says, "How'd you like to fuck that?" 

To which the lawyer replied, "Out of what?" 

4. 




Q: Why don't women fart?
A: They don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up pressure!


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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