Today's jokes [5.15.12] Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Job Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant." Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough cosultants." Applicant: "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor." Employer: "More than we can use already." Applicant: As he is getting desperate, "I'm not proud, I can do paperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor." Employer: "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications." Applicant: As he stands up and angrily yells, "work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!" Employer: "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a seat, we may have an opening."
MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward any of this to your boss by mistake!!!
How do a jewish couple have oral sex? ... "SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO ONE AND OTHER" Sent by Ivan
A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see a small boy eating an ice cream. The priest says, "How'd you like to fuck that?" To which the lawyer replied, "Out of what?"
Q: Why don't women fart? A: They don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up pressure!
Love, Mary
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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