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Today's jokes [5.14.12]

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Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her
obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My
husband wants me to ask you..."
"I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her
shoulder, "I get asked that all the time.  Sex is fine until late In
the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if
I can still mow the lawn."


Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and
A: Because they already have boyfriends!


Mirror, mirror

   A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her
   bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully
   says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four".
   Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to
   enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what has
   happened, and in minutes they both return.
   This time the husband crosses his fingers and says: "Mirror mirror on
   the door, make my "manhood" touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright
   flash and both his legs fall off.


   A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just
   come out of the shower.
   The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks "What's that?"
   Her sister replies "That is my possum, sis!"
   The young girl replies "Oh, OK"
   The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing
   at her pussy again
   asks "What's that?"
   Her mother replies "That's my possum!"
   The young girl again replies "Oh, OK"
   The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and
   once again pointing at
   her pussy asks "What's that?"
   The grandmother replies "That's my possum!"
   The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?"
   The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do
   you ask?"
   The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is
   sticking out!"


   The teacher had given the class an assignment.
   He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no
   excuses will be
   accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the
   immediate family (with a
   note from that member).
   A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion,
   The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher
   responds with:
   "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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