Today's jokes [5.14.12]
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Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her
obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "My
husband wants me to ask you..."
"I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her
shoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late In
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know if
I can still mow the lawn."
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and
A: Because they already have boyfriends!
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her
bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully
says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four".
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to
enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what has
happened, and in minutes they both return.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says: "Mirror mirror on
the door, make my "manhood" touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright
flash and both his legs fall off.
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just
come out of the shower.
The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks "What's that?"
Her sister replies "That is my possum, sis!"
The young girl replies "Oh, OK"
The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing
at her pussy again
asks "What's that?"
Her mother replies "That's my possum!"
The young girl again replies "Oh, OK"
The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and
once again pointing at
her pussy asks "What's that?"
The grandmother replies "That's my possum!"
The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?"
The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do
The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no
excuses will be
accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the
immediate family (with a
note from that member).
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion,
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher
"Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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