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Today's jokes [5.10.12]

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Boy: Those clothes are very becoming on you!
Girl: Why thank you!
Boy: Of course, if I was on you...I would becoming too!

1. 




A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out 
and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears 
some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of 
his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!" "OK," the 
man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."

2. 




How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?

If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the
same time and still know which one to spit out.

3. 




What are the three words you don't want to hear while making love?

"Honey, I'm home!" 

4. 




Q: What do your wife and a condom have in common?
A: When there not on your cock there in your wallet.


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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