Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's quotes [4.19.12]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.


I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
   because I hate plants.
   -- A. Whitney Brown


1. 




Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.

                                       - - - Miles Kington


2. 




The most terrible of all intellectual weapons ever wielded by
man was the mockery of Voltaire.
        --Tallyrand

3. 




My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.

                       ---Rodney Dangerfield

4. 




"Well, I made up for it big time the next night at another concert. Jill
 Sobule (of "I Kissed a Girl" fame) actually thanked me for being the maniac
 I am, people continue to be frightened of me, and I also triggered a "why-
 can't-you-be-in-shape-like-him" from a woman to her boyfriend. I may not
 have made a spectacle of myself at the Swans concert, but at least I
 destroyed a relationship.:-) ...  Wait a minute. That's not funny. I'm
 evil. *sob*"
                        -- Lt. Wilkes, discussing his form of "dancing"


5. 



BONUS! A random quote from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Funny Pic

 April '12 Quotes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
1  2  3  4  5  6  7  
8  9  10 11 12 13 14 
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 
22 23 24 25 26 27 28 
29 30 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.