Today's jokes [4.29.12]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A certain young lady named Rowell
Had a musical bent to her bowel.
With a good plate of beans
Tucked under her jeans
She could play To a Wild Rose by MacDowell.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls
make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit
card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good
girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could
do it better. Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a
strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a
strand of pearls. Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear
high heels to bed. Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch.
The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers.
That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."
The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"
In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms.
Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a
full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the
investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning
an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the
independent prosecutor's team will drill Monica prior to her testimony,
beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28