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Today's jokes [4.13.12]

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Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned
to an attendant standing nearby.
"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those
hideous representations you call modern art?"
"No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."

1. 




The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian
air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall
while the jet was on a bombing run.  The plane crashed into
an empty field, creating a huge crater.  Serbian search and
rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving
that NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terrorists
to wage their war of terror from the sky.

2. 




A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto
the the operating table, looks down and says "Say ahhhhhhhhhhh!"
The man looks at the vet and says "The dog can't speak".
The vet says to the man "I was talking to YOU. The dog,s dead!!!

Sent by Peter 

3. 




How does a yuppie couple perform doggie-style sex?

He sits up and begs and she lies down and plays dead.

4. 




   An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything
   for a while the
   Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no
   paper in here either.
   


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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