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Today's jokes [3.4.12]

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Why does a dog lick his balls?
             Because he can't make a fist. 

1. 




What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose?

Darling.

2. 




Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?

A mental hospital.

3. 




   A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks,
   he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife
   sneered in reply, "Over my dead body !"
   
   He downed his drink and replied, "Well, I see you haven't changed one
   little bit."


4. 




A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New 
York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a 
Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, "Excuse me, I 
would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?" 
The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?" 
The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?" 
The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?" 
The New Yorker replied, "Excuse me, but what is 'excuse me?'"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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