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Today's jokes [3.18.12]

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One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle.
The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again.
He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."


The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a 
beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't 
sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?" She held 
up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that." 
Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm 
bigger than that." Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that 
big. I said, "I'm about that big." She put the three fingers in her mouth 
and said, "You're a medium."


Q.  What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A.  Speed bumps


Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood. 


Two mates are having a chat over a beer.
"Do you like sheilas with bad body odour and bad breath?"
one bloke asks his friend.
"No way!" his mate replies.
"Well," says the first bloke,
"do you like pussies you could hide a watermelon in?"
"Fuck no!" his mate replies.
"Well," says the first bloke,
"what the hell are you doing fuckin' around with my wife?"


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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