Today's jokes [3.13.12]
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So you don't know Jack Schitt
He's the only son of Awh Schitt and Oh Schitt.
Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of
the Kneedeep Schitt
Inn. Jack Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth. Next
came twin sons, Deep
Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt,
and another son,
Bull Schitt. Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
Dip Schitt married
Lotta Schitt, and they have a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and
Giva Schitt, married the
Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd
Schitt and Horace
Schitt. Bull Schitt just married a spice number, Pisa Schitt, and they
are awaiting the
arrival of Baby Schitt. So now you know Jack Schitt.
What's the difference between Bill Clinton, and the Titanic ??
It is known how many went down on the Titanic.
A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day. He told his girl
friend he'd have it fixed in no time.
However as it was very cold his hands kept getting cold. He asked
his girl if he could put his hands between her knees to warm them.
She said that would be allright. After getting his hands warm he
went back to fixing the tire but it was so cold he could not
continue so he again asked his girl if he could warm his hands.
She again said it would be allright. When his hands were warm he
went back to fixing the tire once more. But before he been out
there five minutes or so he again asked her if he could warm his
His girl asked "Honey don't your ears ever get cold?"
What is red and sticky and crawls up a girls thigh?
A home-sick abortion.
Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that
he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him,
"Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock."
Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?"
The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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