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Today's quotes [2.26.12]

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar
       Wilde


1. 




There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were
       as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I
       no longer know how to use my telephone. -- Stroustrup


2. 




Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn
       from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their
       apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams


3. 




You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who
       makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe
       diarrhea.


4. 




Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to
       calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the
       doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you
       know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife
       stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After
       that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.


5. 



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