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Today's jokes [2.7.12]

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An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreign
exchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rps
and after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given $50.45 with
a typical "service" smile and "Have a nice day!"

The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day with another
wad of Rupees. He handed the same cashier 100,000Rps and put his hand
out for his $50.45, instead he received $48.78.

He questiond bitterly Ooh! vy less !!??" Whereupon the cashier replied
"Fluctuations!"

He screamed back "FLUCK YOU AMERICANS, TOO!" I'm going back to Delhi!!! 

1. 




A woman was out shopping and her son was with her. They boy spotted a man 
who was bowlegged. The boy pulled on Mom's hand and said, " Momma, look at 
the bowlegged man." 
Mom was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a 
person and make that sort of comment. For punishment, the boy had to read 
a play by Shakespeare. He couldn't go shopping again until he finished 
reading the play. 
Finally he finished and his mom took him out again to the mall shopping. 
Once again he spied a bowlegged man, but remembered what happened the last 
time. 
So he pulled on his mother's hand and said, "Lo, what manner of men are 
these, who wear their balls in parentheses?"

2. 




What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?
He gets taller!!

Sent by Bill

3. 




Age       Sport
        17         sex
        25         sex
        35         sex
        48         sex
        66         napping

4. 




On preparing to return home from an out of town trip,
this man got a small puppy as a present for his son.
Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy
onboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of his
pants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About 30
minutes into the trip a stew noticed the man shaking
and quivering. 

     'Are you OK, sir?' asked the stew? 
     'Yes, I'm fine.' said the man. 
     Sometime later the stew noticed the man moaning, and
     shaking again.. 
     'Are you sure you're alright sir?' 
     'Yes.' said the man, 'but I have a confession to make.
     I didn't have time to get the paperwork to bring
     a puppy onboard, so I hid him down the front of my pants.' 
     'Whats wrong?' asked the stew, 'Is he not house broken?' 
     'No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!' 

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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