Today's jokes [2.27.12]
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What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?
The white one got away.
Why do doctors slap babies when they are born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
In Montana, on the sight where Custer and his men had their asses handed
to them by the Sioux, a huge mural is to be painted. The artist insists on
When the mural is unveiled it shows an orgy of naked Indians screwing all
over the prairie, and in the center a cow with a halo. The artist says the
mural is a rendering of Custer's final thoughts - "Holy cow! Look at all
them fuckin' Indians!"
"Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a
minute ago, and he
splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right
crutch! Then he splashed
some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch!" "My boy,
you've witnessed a
miracle! What happened then?" "He fell on his ass Father he's a
cripple you know!"
A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder.
Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds.
Curious, he begins to climb. Before long, he is *in* the clouds. He
looks around and sees the most horribly ugly woman he has ever seen in
Obese, snaggle-toothed, matted hair..... She looks at him, beckons,
and says, "Have sex with me, or climb the ladder to success."
Well, having no intention of doing *anything* with this woman, the man
climbs higher up the ladder. A bit further on, he comes upon a woman
slightly less ugly than the woman before. Not attractive, by any
means, but not repugnant. "Have sex with me, or climb the ladder to
success, "she says.
Again, the man elects to continue his climb.
Before long, he comes upon another woman. This one is actually
attractive. Not a knock-out, but very pleasing. "Have sex with me, or
climb the ladder to success."
Well, he figures the women keep getting better and better looking as
he gets higher and higher. So he decides to continue climbing.
A bit farther up is the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen in his
life! Miss America beautiful. In a sultry voice she says, "Have sex
with me, or climb the ladder to success." Well, needless to say he is
But he just can't imagine what could top this woman, so he decides to
On the next cloud up is a horrid 500 lb man. You can see the lice in
his hair, he stinks, his clothes are ratty..... "Who are you?" our
climber asks in horror. Grinning a toothless grin, the man looks at
him and says, "Hi. I'm Cess.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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