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Today's jokes [2.18.12]

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   A man is urinating one day when the end of his penis drops off.
   
   He thinks, "This is probably not a good thing," so he picks up the
   knobby end and sticks it in his pocket, then races off to the doctor.
   He waits in the surgery for a bit, then he's called in.
   
   The doctor greets him and asks, "What's the problem?"
   
   "Well, doctor, I was urinating and my knob fell off. Here it is." And
   he reaches into his pocket and hands the piece to the doctor.
   
   The doctor looks, frowns, then replies, "What are you talking about?
   This is a marshmellow!"
   
   "Well, that can't be right! I ate my last marshmellow on the way in
   here!"
   


1. 




State of Kentucky

                           12th Grade Reading Test



                      TEST #1         TEST #2          TEST #3           TEST #4

                      MR Ducks        MR Snakes        MR Farmers        MR Mice
                      MR Knot         MR Knot          MR Knot           MR Knot
                        SAR             SAR              SAR               SAR
                    CM Wangs        CM BDI's         CMMT Pockets      CMEDBD Feet
                        LIB             LIB              LIB               LIB
                      MR Ducks        MR Snakes        MR Farmers        MR Mice



2. 




What's blue and sings alone?

     - Dan Ackroyd. 

3. 




Different sex outcomes

Brunette after sex: "Oh that was great! Love you... wanna marry?"
Blonde after sex: "Next!"
Redhead after sex: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid."

4. 




Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her 
constipation. "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a 
week." 
"I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor. 
"Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the 
morning and again at night." 
"No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?"
"Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."  

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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