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Today's jokes [2.16.12]

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What's long and hard and excites a girl when
she's finally lucky enough to get on it?

The road to success!

1. 




A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing 
where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. 

"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very 
dangerous beast out there!"

But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less 
seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was 
the couple was doing.

"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a 
brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's 
artificial respiration!"

"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which 
merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

2. 




Which of the following doesn't belong?

(a) meat
(b) eggs
(c) wife
(d) blow job

(D) A blowjob because its possible to beat your meat,
your eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob 

3. 




Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the House
Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a
car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and
whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands
of yards away. They all fall into a daze. 

When they come to and extract themselves from the
vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. 

They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The
Wizard is known for granting people their wishes. 

Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." 
Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." 
Clinton speaks up, "Where's Dorothy?" 

4. 




Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? 

A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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