Today's stories [12.15.12] Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
Actual Police Accounts The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book she said: "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "No, highway patrolmen don't have balls." There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.
Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General Motors. The comparison went like this: If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes twice a day?
New paint store just opened up by my place, so I decided as any red-blooded, sexually repressed young lad to pay it a visit. When I went in I saw signs all over advertising the newest color: "Natural Blonde". There weren't any samples around, so I asked the clerk to describe it to me. He replied, "Natural Blonde? Wonderful new paint: not too bright, but spreads easily!"
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