Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's jokes [12.7.12]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

Why are E.T.s eyes so big?

                    Because he saw the phone bill.



-  Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

-  Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding?  
   Not if you are the groom.

-  When dancing, never remove undergarments; 
   no matter how hot it is.

-  Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds 
   may get you cut.

-  A bridal veil made of window screen is not only 
   cost-effective, but also a proven fly deterrent.

-  For the groom, at least rent a tux.  A leisure suit 
   with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can 
   create a nice appearance.  Though uncomfortable, 
   say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.


A man was complaining to a friend.
"I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a 
beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"My wife found out."


Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and 
said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step.  Are you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied.  "My wife has made appetizers and we have a 
caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our 
"I don't mean that," the priest responded.  "I mean, are you prepared
"Oh, sure," came the reply.  "I've got a keg of beer and a case of 


Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How much money have you got?


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 December '12 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
2  3  4  5  6  7  8  
9  10 11 12 13 14 15 
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 
30 31 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.