Today's jokes [12.5.12]
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A divorced woman had been on her own for several months and was
starting to get extremely horny. She went to the grocery store and while
there starting eyeing the bag boy. On the way out to the car she decided to
make her move. Leaning over to the boy she whispered," You know, I've
got and itchy pussy...."
The boy replied, "Well you're gonna have to point it out, ma'am, all
those Japanese cars look alike to me!"
While in prison O.J. had another prisoner join him in his
cell. This person was 8' tall and 670 lbs. of solid muscle.
He asked O.J. if he wanted to be the husband or the wife.
Now O.J. not being stupid started reasoning in his mind "OK
if I say I'm going to be the wife, this guy is going to fuck
me in the ass." So O.J. said he was going to be the husband.
The other prisoner said, OK O.J. your the husband. Now get
over here and suck your wife's dick."
Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same
On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses an
inflatable sex doll?
Instead of staring at the bikinis, he's staring at the beach balls.
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie,
each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why,
just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men
before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking
down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a
rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit
its head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still here
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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