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Today's jokes [12.29.12]

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After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked.
So they went to a doctor, and got checked over.
The doctor took time to reassure them. "Don't worry," he said, "Just take
this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow."
So he went home feeling better, and went back the next day with his little
bottle. It was empty.
   The doctor looked at the bottle carefully, " Problems?" he said.
    "Have I ever had problems, doc.!" the man replied. " I went home and
straight upstairs, and worked at it for over half an hour. Both hands. I
tell you doc, my hands got too sore to hold it! I had to get the wife
upstairs and she had a go. But even she, with all her experience, couldn't
do it. "
    "So what did you do?" said the doctor.
    " We had a discussion, and got the mother-in-law involved. I was sure
she'd manage it, but it was no go, even when she used her mouth. And doc,
she tried with her teeth in, and her teeth out!!"
  "But nothing we tried would get the top off that bloody bottle!!!!!"


Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" The 
second guy says, "No." "A bald eagle just flew over head." "Oh." A couple 
of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No." "There
was a black bear walking on that hill over there." "Oh." A few minutes 
later the second guy says, "Did you see that?" The second guy, getting 
aggravated, says, "Yes, I did!" The first guy then says, "Then why did you 
step in it?"


If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease,
eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will
be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be
deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be 
delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be
debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose. And on 
a more positive note, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted. 


How do you know a blond has been using your computer?

When the joy stick is wet!

Sent by Richard


What is the most insensitive part of a penis? 

    - The man 


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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