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Today's jokes [12.24.12]

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This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker 
says, "Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big 
way down here in Texas."
"Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She 
takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.
She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled 
out of one?"
The guy says, "No, just the first one I've seen big enough to 
crawl back into."


How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style
Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing
out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of
whatever is left.  Professors of mathematics prove the
existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of
an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate

Sent by Alex 


What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning? 

    -Sends him to work.


The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he 
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike 
cord as he went. 

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and 
nearly tripping before jerking it again. 

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew 
leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will 
he hurt us?"


What is black and sits at the top of a set of stairs?

A quadraplegic in a house fire.


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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