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Today's jokes [12.23.12]

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Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find
out whether computer is male or female: one group was male,
and the other group was female.

The group of women reported that computers should be 
refereed to as "HE" because: 

1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on. 
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems but half the 
time they are the problem. 
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had 
waited a little longer, you could have had a newer and better 
model.

The group of men reported that computers should be refered to 
as "SHE" because: 

1. No one but the creator understands their logic. 
2. The native language they use to talk to other computers is 
incomprehensible to anyone else. 
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory 
for later retrieval. 
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find 
yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

1. 




A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from 
work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette 
asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was 
trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You put it around your 
neck!" The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"

2. 




There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion
came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "How
funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?"

After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed
the lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course,
and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring,
he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good time
to be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he had
to think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion.

Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide.

The hunter, reading the paper, was startled and ran out of the tent.
The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter's
shirt and hat, and started to read the paper.

A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunter
reading the paper, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?"

From behind the paper The gorilla answered, "You mean the one that
screwed the lion in the ass?"

Flabergasted, the lion said, "Holy Shit! It's in the paper already?" 

3. 




How is a woman like an airplane? 

    -Both have cockpits. 

4. 




What was the First Commandment?

"Adam, eat my pussy." 


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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