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Today's jokes [12.22.12]

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A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little 
sister pulled his hair.

"Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't 
realize that pulling hair hurts."

A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to 
investigate.

This time the sister is bawling and her brother says...

"Now she knows."

1. 




Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile 
cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under 
it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries 
starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can't believe it! He 
says, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat 
us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" 

The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup."

2. 




Q: Why is a violist like a terrorist?
A: They both fuck up bowings.


3. 




How many men does it take to pop popcorn? 

     Three. One to hold the pan and two to show off and shake the stove. 

4. 




What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?

The Spice Girls!

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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