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Today's jokes [12.21.12]

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The sales girl at the Pink Pussycat boutique didn't bat
an eye when the customer purchased an artificial vagina.
"What are you going to use it for?" she asked. 
"None of your business," answered the customer, beet
red and throughly offended. 
"Calm down, buddy," soothed the salesgirl. " The only
reason I'm asking is that if it's food, we don't have
to charge you sales tax." 

1. 




Why did the woman with P.M.S. cross the road? 

     She just did, alright!! 

2. 




                   HOUSE PET

       Age         Pet

        17         roaches
        25         stoned-out college roommate
        35         Irish setter
        48         children from his first marriage
        66         Barbi

3. 




So one sperm says to the other "When do we get to the ovaries?"

The other replies "Ovaries! We're not even past the throat yet!" 

4. 




THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FOR

Cover charge: $15.00 
Round of drinks: $23.00 
Table dance: $30.00 
Another round of drinks: $23.00 
Couch dance and tips: $50.00 
A round of shots: $34.00 
A Bottle of Dom and a Limo home: 125.00 
Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00 
Sending her on her way and never having to hear her complain: 
Priceless
For everthing else.... There's MasterCard

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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