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Today's jokes [12.20.12]

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A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor
operation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a lady in
a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before
they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre
door to go in and check whether everything is ready.

A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the
sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks
away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second
man comes over and does the same examinations.

When the third man starts examining her body so closely,
she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are
fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start th
operation?"

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have
no idea. We're just painting the corridor." 

1. 




A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding 
where to go for a drink.
The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the 
bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."
The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every 
third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."
The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for 
free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid."
"That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you 
actually been there?"
"No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time." 

2. 




The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a
policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run
me over!" the shaken man told the cop.
"The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could
you tell it was your mother-in-law?"
"I recognized the laugh!" he replied.

3. 




   It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family are just
   waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at
   the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty!
   
   "Who's been eating my porridge?!" he squeaks.
   
   Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks
   into his big bowl. It is also empty!
   
   "Who's been eating my porridge?!" he roars.
   
   Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen
   and screams, "For God's sake, how many times do we have to go through
   this? I haven't made the fucking porridge yet!!"
   


4. 




   A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together,
   "Guess what I have in here and you'll get some loving tonite."
   
   The equally bored husband, wishing to avoid any kind of sex at all
   replies, "An elephant".
   
   The wife sez "That's close enough!"


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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