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Today's jokes [12.12.12]

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What do you call an armless, legless leper in a swimming pool?



One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A
pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the 
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics
save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.


One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to
a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared
for. The next  morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a
tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window
overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after
a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and
straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she
starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and
once more bring her back upright.  This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting
to her new home.
"So Ma, how is it  here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart"


Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the
   other side.


Q: What's the worst thing about washing your cat?
A: Getting the fur off your tongue afterwards.


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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