Today's jokes [12.1.12]
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Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps?
A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!
Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when
all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, "Operator, giff me
beck the party!"
She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to make the call all over
He says, "What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da
She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to place the call again."
He says, "Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove
it in you-know-vere!" And he hangs up.
Two days later he opens the door and there are two big,
strapping guys standing there who say, "We came to take your
He says, "Vy?"
They say, "Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago.
But if you'd like to call up and apologize, we'll leave the
He says, "Vait a minute, vat's da rush, vat's da hurry?" He goes
to the telephone and dials. "Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello,
Operator28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I
told you to take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere?"
She says, "Yes?"
He says, "Vell, get ready -- dey're bringin' it to ya!"
What's the difference between a ritz
cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!
What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ?
100 way to wok your dog.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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