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Today's jokes [12.1.12]

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Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps?
A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!


Why do men take showers instead of baths?

Pissing in the bath is disgusting. 


An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when 
all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, "Operator, giff me 
beck the party!"

She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to make the call all over 

He says, "What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da 

She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to place the call again."

He says, "Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove 
it in you-know-vere!" And he hangs up.

Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, 
strapping guys standing there who say, "We came to take your 
telephone out."

He says, "Vy?"

They say, "Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago. 
But if you'd like to call up and apologize, we'll leave the 
telephone here."

He says, "Vait a minute, vat's da rush, vat's da hurry?" He goes 
to the telephone and dials. "Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello, 
Operator28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I 
told you to take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere?"

She says, "Yes?"

He says, "Vell, get ready -- dey're bringin' it to ya!"


What's the difference between a ritz
                             cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!


What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ?

100 way to wok your dog.


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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