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Today's stories [11.3.12]

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[Associated Press,Kincaid, W. VA] A man at a
   party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
   down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
   lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
   Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
   blasting cap as a prank during a party late
   Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man
   had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
   was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It
   wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you
   how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and
   bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue
   and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
   guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
   injuries, according to a spokesman at Charleston
   Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
   anyone doing something like that," Payne said.


1. 




[UPI,Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's
   University Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man
   shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky
   to be alive, and will be released soon from the
   hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye
   last weekend during an initiation into a men's
   rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants
   Pass,Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off
   his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right
   eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter
   to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut
   and Roberts would have died instantly.
   Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University
   Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8
   to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at
   the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss
   all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said had
   Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own he
   surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
   afterwards he and his friends had been drinking
   that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so
   dumb about this." (I would feel 'dumb' too if that
   much of my brain had been skewered - KEB)
   No charges have been filed but the Josephine County
   district attorney's office said the initiation stunt
   is under investigation.


2. 




[AP, Arkansas] A woman named Linda went to
   Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while
   there, went to a store. She parked next to a car
   with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and
   hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When
   Linda came out a while later, she again saw the
   woman, her hands still behind her head but with
   her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so
   Linda tapped on the window and said "Are you
   okay?" The woman answered "I've been shot in the
   head, and I am holding my brains in." Linda didn't
   know what to do; so she ran into the store where
   store officials called the paramedics. They had to
   break into the car because the door was locked.
   When they got in, they found that the woman had
   bread dough on the back of her head and in her
   hands. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded,
   apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud
   explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in
   the head. When she reached back to find what it
   was, she felt the dough and thought it was her
   brains. She passed out from fright at first, then
   attempted to hold her brains in!


3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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