Today's stories [11.25.12]

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BABY CHICKEN

A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room 
complaining of abdominal pains. 
During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were 
pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found 
the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she 
inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby. 

In Kentucky, a woman complained of a purple discharge from her 
vagina. She thought it might have something to do with the diaphragm 
that her doctor had recently given her. 
"I followed all the instructions to the letter," she told her doctor, 
"and used it with the jelly." 
When asked which kind of jelly she had used, she replied "Grape." 

A World War II veteran came into a London clinic with a haemorrhoid 
problem. One painful pile would often hang down from the man's anus and 
he was in the habit of pushing it back up with an artillery shell. On 
this occasion, the shell got stuck. Doctors were going to remove it 
but the man told them the shell was still live. So the hospital called in 
the army bomb disposal squad, who built a lead box around the 
man's anus to defuse the shell before it could be removed. 

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