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Today's jokes [11.26.12]

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How many Poles does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

    I don't know. I havn't find one that could do it yet. 

1. 




What is green, has four legs and smells like woman?

The white house's pool table

2. 




How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
    
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

3. 




This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of
his car. After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want
to move to the back seat?"

She replies, "NO!" Flabbergasted, he says, "Why Not?"

To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd
be lonely back there!"

4. 




A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed 
by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from 
the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only 
wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. 

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the 
peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker 
attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and 
tried to get him to settle out of court. 

He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to 
take half of what he was asking. 

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, 
the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his 
success, telling the rancher, "You are really a country hick, old 
man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the 
case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the 
caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I 
didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" 

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a 
little worried about winning that case myself, because that 
durned bull came home this morning." 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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