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Today's jokes [11.25.12]

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One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing
him there, decides to investigate.
"Whatcha doin?" he asked. Mongo replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying 
"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. 
Mongo shot back, "That's because he's inside your fuckin' cat!' 


After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband "Was
making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?"
"Yes, she's dead to!""Was making love to me really the same as making
love to Marilyn Monroe?"

"Yes, she's dead to!"


The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the 
bar. "Elliot," she said, pointing "do you see that man downing bourbon at 
the bar?"
The husband looked over and nodded. "Well," the woman continued, "he's 
been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!"
The husband returned to his meal. "Nonsense," he said, "even that's not 
worth so much celebrating!"


In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep
   with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"


Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.
He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and
a banner that said 'N I L'. 
White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns
to The Great Nullity ,The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero in
the Sky. 
Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered,
.... ...... "Is Nothing Sacred?"


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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