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Today's jokes [11.21.12]

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Q: What is worse than a dead dog on your piano?
A: An infected pussy on your organ.


1. 




A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right 
into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he 
picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying 
the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says "thank you for not 
disturbing my buttercups. For that I shall make sure that you always have 
a full supply of butter".

"Thank you," the golfer replied, "but where were you last week when I hit
the ball into the pussywillows?"



2. 




Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched 
backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. "One 
thing about Jim," his buddy said to the bartender, "he knows 
when to stop."

3. 




Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around 
a man. The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"
Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to
help that man!

4. 




Q: What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits?

A: 20 class rings fell out.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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