Today's jokes [11.20.12]
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But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A
husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer
controls the weather.
Do you know why single women can't fart?
Because, they don't get assholes untill they get married.
Q: Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?
A: They both have, "incert Bill"!
Sent by Gabriel
A wish for Christmas
It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the
mall in his big holiday setup.He has a line of kids lined up to sit on
his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line
dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and sits on santas
lap. Santa says to the little boy"I bet I know what you want for
christmas". "I bet
you want a puppy, P-U-P-P-Y"; touching the tip of the little boys nose
with his finger after every letter of the word. The little boy
So santa again says"Then I bet you want a bike,B-I-K-E"; as he again
touched the tip of the little boys nose with his finger. The little
boy again said"Nope".
Well santa's starting to get a little pissed off. So he thinks to
himself that he'll try one more time. So he says to the little boy"I
bet you want a fire engine,F-I-R-E-E-N-G-I-N-E"; once again touching
the tip of the little boys nose with his finger after every letter of
the word. Where to the little responds"Nope".
Well at this time santa's really pissed off. So he says to the little
boy "Then what the fuck do you want for christmas"?
The little boy then looked at santa and said"I want some pussy,
P-U-S-S-Y; and don't fucking tell me that you can't give me any
because I can smell it on your finger"!
A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.
They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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