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Today's jokes [11.20.12]

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   But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A
   husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer
   controls the weather.


Do you know why single women can't fart? 

     Because, they don't get assholes untill they get married. 


Q:  Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?

A:  They both have, "incert Bill"!

Sent by Gabriel


   A wish for Christmas

   It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the
   mall in his big holiday setup.He has a line of kids lined up to sit on
   his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line
   dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and sits on santas
   lap. Santa says to the little boy"I bet I know what you want for
   christmas". "I bet
   you want a puppy, P-U-P-P-Y"; touching the tip of the little boys nose
   with his finger after every letter of the word. The little boy
   So santa again says"Then I bet you want a bike,B-I-K-E"; as he again
   touched the tip of the little boys nose with his finger. The little
   boy again said"Nope".
   Well santa's starting to get a little pissed off. So he thinks to
   himself that he'll try one more time. So he says to the little boy"I
   bet you want a fire engine,F-I-R-E-E-N-G-I-N-E"; once again touching
   the tip of the little boys nose with his finger after every letter of
   the word. Where to the little responds"Nope".
   Well at this time santa's really pissed off. So he says to the little
   boy "Then what the fuck do you want for christmas"?
   The little boy then looked at santa and said"I want some pussy,
   P-U-S-S-Y; and don't fucking tell me that you can't give me any
   because I can smell it on your finger"!


A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.

They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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