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Today's jokes [11.17.12]

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Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My 
name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."

Another guy says, "What's that?"

The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."

Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.

A girl asks, "What's that?"

He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids."

A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a 

Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?"

She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."


Why does the University of Tennesse football
team wear orange to all their Saturday games? 

     So that they can wear the same outfit to go
     hunting on Sunday, and to work on Monday. 


What came first, the chicken or the egg? 

     - I'd have to say it was the rooster! 


    At the Doctor's...
   -A young woman said to her doctor,
   "You have to help me, I hurt all over."
   "What do you mean?" said the doctor.
   -The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,
   "Ow, that hurts."
   -Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled,
   "Ouch! That hurts, too."
   -Then she touched her right earlobe.
   "Ow, even THAT hurts."
   The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"
   -"Why yes," she said.
   "I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."


A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to 
call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before 
the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a 
very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we see here is 
the husk only, the shell...the nut has gone to heaven."


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.


PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

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