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Today's jokes [11.15.12]

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The world's greatest hypnotist is on stage in front of hundreds
of people swinging a long chain with a watch on the end.
He's saying, "You're all in my power...you're all in my power.."
Fifteen hundred people are going, "Oooo..."
He starts to say it again, "You're all in my...", when he
accidentally drops the watch.
He says, "Shit."
It took them two weeks to dig everybody out. 


1. 




   What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg ?
   1) You only get laid once.
   2) You only get eaten once.
   3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water.
   4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys.
   5) The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother.
   


2. 




When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all 
the children to give their first name. When she got to the
little boy in the second row, he said:  "I'll give you a
hint. First it's in your hand, then it's in your mouth,
and then it's in your tummy."
The teacher smiled and said: "OK, Dick, sit down."

3. 




The medical student was asked four reasons why mother's
milk was better for babies than cow's milk. 
This is the answer he submitted: 
1. It's fresher. 
2. It's cleaner. 
3. The cats can't get to it. 
4. It's easier to take on a picnic. 
He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."  


4. 




"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"
she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes.
"I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again."


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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